You love each other.
But something keeps getting in the way.
You may recognize this:
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The same arguments repeat.
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One of you pursues while the other withdraws.
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You both leave conversations feeling misunderstood.
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You long for closeness but struggle to find it.
Neither of you is broken.
Your protective strategies make sense. They developed to protect you, but they can also get in the way of the closeness you both long for. You don't have to settle for surviving together.
With awareness and corrective experiences, you can co-create a relationship where both partners feel loved and free.
You don't have to choose between closeness and autonomy.
You can have both.
You may find yourselves asking:
One partner says:
"Can we please talk about this?"
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The other says:
"Can we just enjoy each other for once?"
One partner says:
"I need to know we're okay."
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The other says:
"I just need a little room to breathe."
One partner says:
"Do you notice everything I do for us?"
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The other says:
"I'm still not getting the things I most need."
We may be a good fit if...
You are ready to move beyond the same defensive patterns.
You are exhausted from the same argument, only to end up more irritated.
You need more than just simple prescriptions.
Tools like 'I' statements are fine, but you are looking to heal the underlying triggers that drive the distance between you.
You recognize how stress changes how both of you show up.
You are ready to leave the blame game behind and actually transform your reactivity.
You're willing to practice a new way of connecting with yourself and your partner.
Because you are ready for your partnership to finally feel like a secure place to recharge.
Hi, I'm Alex, MSW
Combining training in meditation, hypnotherapy, and family systems theory, I bring a unique lens to my work supporting couples. I am passionate about this work because I believe relationships are the most powerful crucibles of learning, where real adults are forged.
I personally know how stressful relational conflict can be. I have benefited from years of individual and couples therapy, and my own practice of growing patience and kindness continues daily as a husband and father.
I love to help partners resolve their attachment patterns rather than just teaching them rigid communication scripts, because I believe we all flourish with more authentic, free connection.
HOW I WORK WITH YOU
Holding Both of Us:
A Practice of Peaceful Intimacy — An Intensive 4 Month Program
A relational blueprint
Structured practices to clarify your shared goals and build functional, everyday skills — customized to you as a couple.
Guided somatic inquiry
A practice of exploring your subconscious to regulate your nervous system and heal historical triggers.
Live deep-dive sessions
Three 90-minute sessions of live coaching per month
Asynchronous voice support
Optional between-session voice notes to help you navigate real-time triggers and stay anchored in the work.
FAQ
How is couples coaching different than couples therapy?
What makes my approach unique is the structure. Between sessions, you'll complete guided reflections, relationship practices, and intentional dates that help you apply what you're learning in everyday life—not just during our meetings.
Who is this not a good fit for?
This coaching program is designed for couples who are ready to actively work on their relationship together.
It is not appropriate for relationships involving ongoing domestic violence or the threat of violence, active substance addiction, or untreated psychiatric conditions that require a higher level of care. In those situations, I'll gladly help point you toward more appropriate resources.
Where are you located?
I'm based in Eugene, Oregon and work with couples online. This allows me to support committed couples regardless of where they live.
Will this make things worse?
It's a common fear.
Sometimes difficult emotions do come to the surface—but not because the work is creating new problems. It's because we're making space to understand patterns that have already been shaping your relationship.
My role is to help you move through those conversations in a way that creates more understanding, not more blame. We go at a pace that feels manageable, and the goal is always to leave you feeling more connected, not more divided.
This work is for couples who are...
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Willing to lean in with curiosity rather than pointing fingers
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Striving to understand both their own and their partner's perspective with care
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Ready to move beyond just talking in circles, and actually practice a new way of connecting
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Open to stepping below the surface of the argument to understand the underlying reactions driving the conflict.
